I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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