so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
did i walk over a car last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
