'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
