So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
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He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
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On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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