Me too!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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