I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize