glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
