woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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