dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
