Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
