Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
