They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
