I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
