the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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