he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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