My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize