i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
