I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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