And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
