She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
