dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
