Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
