I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize