I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
