the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
