no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
