so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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