I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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