how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
