I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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