OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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