how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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