I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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