So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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