loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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