So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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