new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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