On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
