So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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