So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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