Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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