hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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