i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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