Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
