so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
