i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
