I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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