Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
