I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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