So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
