I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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