you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
