and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize