just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
