The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
