its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
