How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
