we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
