I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
